Today was yet another day of testing. This time it was editing and revising that spelt out our most certain and grueling deaths. It is too late to go in to much detail about my days. Two quick notes, however. Nate shaved off all of his hair..which I find most disturbing. Also, I saw Tim Spear today and I gave him my number, even though he is engaged to Jackie. I figure we can just be friends. Must go to bed now...oh so tired...
Oh yeah..I made my t-shirt today with Tank Girl on it..it didn't come out too bad. There is a slight run in the ink and its a little brown from the ghetto iron we have..but all in all, not bad.

So tonight was the opening night of the play. Everything was going really well. Everyone remembered what we had worked on at rehearsals, and it all went seamlessly. Then I went on for my 'big' scene and fucked it all up. I got all my lines right, went off scene, came back at my cue and said "so please, your grace, the prologue is adesk." I can't believe it! So now I am going to beat myself up about it from now until eternity. The lights went great, but he didn't put in the program that I worked lights. So when we had the curtain call, I went out for crew, too, but no one knew why. It's like, "why is the fatass going out there again?" I am so mad right now. I hope everything is better tomorrow. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

Today was insane. I don't really remember what I did today at school, all I know is it is 9:15, and I just got home about a half-hour ago. No one should ever be in school longer than they are at home!
Tech rehearsal was ok. I am running lights, and if it wasn't hard enough trying to run the ancient light box backstage but I had my 'assistant' in my way constantly! The only reason she's my assistant is she wouldn't stop bothering Mr.Doniger to run the lights, even after he told her that I am doing it, so he told her she could help me. So, as soon as she gets back there, she's all of a sudden in charge! I went completely insane. All she is doing is driving me crazy, I am going to strangle her by the end of the week.
I have so much homework to do, so I should probably do that. I am really tired, and would love to sleep. However, I know that as soon as I go to sleep, I will just have to wake up again and do it all over again.

Today was my first time babysitting little Shawn for Roni, someone the 'biker community' has known (and feared) for years. I absolutely love her. She has an awesome attitude of not taking no shit from no one. Her son is 21 months, and a perfect angel. He was so great today. He didn't cry or fuss much, just when he hit his head on the couch, but he stopped crying as soon as I put on a video. He was so great, he told me when he wanted a bottle, and even that he wanted milk and not juice. The boys I've babysat aren't even that good!
I just got home and I want to sleep...but can't. Mo and his lady-friend from Oklahoma are coming over for dinner, so I must clean! FUN FUN!! Oh well, I don't mind. Actually, what I really want to do now is practice. I don't know what it is, but I just want to practice all the time now! I don't know if Anna is rubbing off on me, or if it was just since I started practicing for the solo, but all I want to do is play! I know I will never be as good as Anna, at least not for a long time, but I still like to play, and that is all that matters. I suppose I should go clean now. Shawn and Liz apparently aren't talking to me now. They say I shouldn't pick sides, but it seems as though they are taking all the work out of it for me. Why should I stay on the side of the people I'm getting the silent treatment from?

Today was ok up until I got home and talked to Shawn and Liz online. This is driving me insane. Mom and Dad are in a war with Shawn and I am once again cought in the middle, even though they swear that I am not. This is what I hear every day.."Why are you defending him?" from BOTH SIDES! Or there's the ever popular.. "Will you tell them something for me?" But, you know, Im not in the middle.
Ok, on to more happier things. I did my audition for the solo in Ireland yestereday and Minnerly said that I did really well and I have a good shot at it. I think he was lying, but I'll take it. It was really funny because he knows I was really nervous and he will do anything to calm me down. So he took my flute and attempted to play the solo..well, he attempted to pla anything really. All he did was spit all over my mouthpiece..ewwww. But it did loosen me up and I nailed it. I really hope I get that solo. I worked so hard for it.
Also yesterday was the science practical. It was kind of stupid, but not too bad. I didn't finish. Mrs. Cloud was our examiner and I swear she's on something. She made everyone in the room dizzy from her speed-talking.
Went to the Holyoke Mall today. I got a watch, The Flaming Lips and Steve Burns cd's, a sublime album on vinyl, some color dripping and guitar earings. That made me happy. But now I am sad. I think I will go cry myself to sleep now...even though no one cares.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, EVERYONE! Now is the time of year when everyone eats cornedbeef and cabbage, gets drunk, and tries to do an Irish jig after doing the previous two things. I love it. Everyone was so very festive at school today. I wore another skirt..the short green one. I don't think I looked very nice in it. So sad :'(
Not too much to report today. I was sad when I found out that today was full choir day, and I couldn't play Ireland! So I will play tonight for like an hour, like I did last night. I am going to audition for the solo tomorrow for Ireland, but I doubt I will get it. My hopes will stay high, though.
Gilbert is playing Holy Cross tonight, and apparently they are bringing a ton of fans to be rude and obnoxious, as always. So the entire school, except me of course, is going. I wish I could be there to see the inevitable bloodshed.
LET'S GO GILBERT!!!

I don't know what it is, but I must attract stupid people or something! It seemed like every stupid person within a mile radius of me just had to say what was on their mind. What is on a stupid person's mind? Something stupid of course! So I had one stupid comment after another today. Oh well, I'll deal.
This week is some kind of spirit week..they call it March Madness. Yesterday was "Glitz and Glamour Day" today was "Summer Fun Day" and tomorrow, being so creative, is "St.Patrick's Day" where we should wear all green. The funny thing is yesterday I wore a skirt because it was what I had from sleeping over Anna's concert, and today I wore the sun skirt (very summer-ish) and tomorrow, the only green thing I have, is a green skirt! People are going to start to wonder why I am wearing skirts all the time now. I think it's kind of funny to make people guess, though, so I really don't mind. I don't think we will be having school, though, because of the supposed snow storm. Thursday is College/Sport Day, so I will wear my CT Huskies T-shirt from a few years ago (possibly with a skirt..just because..).
Dad and I are going to the auto parts store or something together. I am not quite sure why, but I don't care. We registered the Jeep today, so I'm just going so I can finally get to ride in it.
Good news! Ronnie, this girl my dad knows, needs a babysitter so I volunteered! I will be getting $3 an hour, which is more than I get now; about $2.50. Plus, she lives up near the lake, which will be good in the summer. At this rate, I won't need to apply anywhere else, I will be making enough money with my 3 babysitting jobs!
I have started adding works to my writings page, so check it out often for new poems/short stories!

Tuesday Shawn, Liz, Bethany and I went to New York City for the day. It was so amazing! When we arrived at the Waterbury train station, the train had been cancelled, and the bus that had supposedly been provided for us never showed up! So we flew down to Bridgeport to catch the next train..which we just barely made.
We arrived at Grand Central Station at about 9:30, and went over to the Sony Wonder Lab museum..it was cool, but we were about 4 feet taller than all the other visitors. From there we pretty much just toured the city. We visited Rokefeller Center, where I learned that the ice rink is a lot smaller than it looks like on T.V. We went by Radio City Music Hall, and even went inside. The tour was too much money, but hey, we were there! We went down to the Hello Deli where I met Rupert G (if you don't watch The David Letterman Show, you won't get the reference) and I got a picture with him. Times Square was amazing; that guy who plays guitar in his underwear was there, I believe he was in a Dave Mathews Band music video.
For lunch we ate at a little deli/restorante where the waitress was great. She was right on top of our orders, very friendly, and was so nice with the baby. We must have been there for 2 hours. After lunch we walked over to the Empire State Building, and went to the 86th floor observation deck. We could see the whole city from there, but I wish I hadn't spent the money. I would have rather done the Radio City tour instead.
That night we went back to Times Square, all around Broadway and did a little shopping. Times Square at night was an experience I will never forget. There was no need for any kind of lights, because the neon billboards lit up the sky at all hours. We hope to go back again to see a Broadway show. We really wish that "Guys and Dolls" was playing, but that hasn't been on Broadway for quite some time now. I just hope that I will get to see a show some day. That would be wonderful.

Friday I had wanted to go see Secret Window, but then made plans to see Hidalgo with Anna and Kurt. When I got home, my parents informed me that I couldn't go with them, because we (finally) received dad's Social Security disability check in the mail, and we went out to Dakota's for dinner. So, I thought, maybe I'll do something Saturday...but no. I am still a little sniffly from the trip to NYC, which was AWESOME! So I slept all day, while Mom and Dad got the new Jeep. (cherokee, black w/black leather interior...love it!) Saturday night I watched the boys, and they weren't that bad. But Sunday was when it all started! Anna and Kurt picked me up around 12:30 and we went to Anna's conert. She only played 3 movements, but she had 2 solos and she was great!! I was so happy for her. That night we decided to have me sleep over her house. Her parents were really great, and their house was amazing! They have a farm with horses, chickens, and dogs. They even have a swimming pool..inside their house!! I couldn't believe it. I love it there. Anna, Kurt and I spent most of the night watching The Two Towers, and I rummaged around Kurt's room a little bit, but he informed me that he has something to hide (I love secrets) and I stopped being nosey. Anna and I were up all night talking, she's so great. I just wish she knew just how great she really is. I love her to death, she's got to be one of my best friends; and I couldn't love Kurt any more, either, he's so awesome. So needless to say, I have had a great weekend.

I woke up this morning, and I already had a migraine, I think I got a parasite from that Chinese food last Friday, and I have a ton of homework to catch up on. So I decided to take a sick day.
Two days ago dad and I had another HUGE fight. Apparently, and this is all I can gather from his incoherent yelling, I make him feel like trash because he always makes me cry...I'm not sure how much I follow his train of thought. He says that I am always complaining about how he has ruined my life, so apparently, its all my fault that he has problems. I just don't get him anymore. So I called up Lindsey, and she,too was balling her eyes out, and she was just like 'You wan come over?" So after her mom got out of the shower I went to her house and spent the night. We stayed up all night talking and laughing, like we always do, but we had to go to school the next morning. So needless to say I was a walking zombie all of yesterday.
Yesterday was awesome, though. The Navy Jazz Band, Forecast, came to our school and did a free concert, which was great! After the concert they worked with the Jazz Band from our school, and I got to work with the Chief, who is their vocalist on my singing. She was really nice, and thought Emma and I how to scat. Emma's not in the Jazz Band, but she wanted to skip class and figured she'd get a little help on her singing at the same time. I really hope the director gets some vocal songs soon, I can't wait to sing for the Band.
I have a ton of work to do today. 'March Madness' as its called has started in history. We have 6 projects to do this month, and I have one on Tuesday I need to work on.

"Who, being loved, is poor?" --Oscar Wilde