I'm so happy, mom and dad are letting Kurt and Anna come over tomorrow for dinner and to chill out for a while. I've been cleaning the house all day. I still have to finish cleaning, but its worth it. We have to watch Blue Collar Comedy Tour, because that is just one of the greatest movies in the world, and then maybe Tank Girl or Pirates or something. I hope we can play pool for a while, but I don't know if the parents will let us. Actually, my whole reason for writing this entry wasn't for the entry itself, but for my quote at the end. It's priceless!

Ok, so Thursday marked the beginning of band camp 2004. One problem, my knee locked up again on Monday night, and I had an orthopedist's appointment that morning. So, after I went to that, I went to band camp! Minnerly didn't want me to further injure myself, so I sat out during the normal suicide box, figure eight, circle drills. Then, we started going over the drill, and we got the first 3 or 4 sets down. In the afternoon we practiced the music, and it sounds great! Friday morning, day 2, we started the morning by learning up to the 8th set. Then in the afternoon, we marched it and played it, completely memorized. That is further than we have ever gotten during band camp before. I was so proud! I really can not wait until this years marching season, we may even be competing in Naugatuck! Now here's the bummer. I may need to have surgery on my knee. I don't know what I would do if that put me out of marching. I know me, I would march anyway, and probably mess my knee up even more. So far it looks as if it's a meniscal tear, a tear in the cartilage that cushions the knee joint. It's beginning to hurt worse and worse each day. It used to be that it would get sore every once in a while, or lock up and hurt for a day or so. Now, it just won't stop. Plus, my other knee is starting to feel the strain from putting my weight on it all the time. I'm waiting for the doctor's office to call back to give me an appointment for an MRI. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to deal. I wil say this for sure, if it comes down to physical therapy or surgery, I'm choosing surgery. I can't stand physical therapy, and last time I had to do it, it didn't do anything for me! Plus, I had to walk uphill to it from Gilbert. I can't quite do that, now.
"You might be a band geek if your flutist's friend is your only friend." ~Me

I got home today from Shawn and Liz's. I was there from Tuesday until today, and we went to the carnival. There were 10 rides there, and about as many people. I only saw like 3 people I knew, and not neccesarily who I wanted to see. I wanted to go with Lindsey, as we always have, but she's in New Hampshire with her father. I'm trying to get Kurt and Anna to go with me, but I don't know if they'll want to. They didn't even know it was going on. Another sad thing; they bought a dvd player! I was going to buy one for them for Christmas. Now I don't know what to get. I feel so miserable and depressed. I don't know anymore. Sometimes it feels as though I should be crying, but no tears appear. I want so much to be a different person, but that just won't happen. Liz asked me the other day why I want a boyfriend so bad. I guess I had never really thought about it. I mean, everyone wants to feel loved and needed, but I realized that's not it. My self-confidence and self-esteem are so low that I want a boyfriend merely to feel like I can get one! I kind of got my hopes up this week about this one guy, I don't want to go in to details, but it turns out he was too drunk when he asked me out, and not drunk enough when he saw me in person. I'm worried that the first guy that shows me attention is going to mke me do things I don't want to do...but I attribute that to the book I am currently readng called "Annie's Baby." It's about this girl, Annie (duh) who falls for a guy who beats her, gets her pregnant, denies it, rapes her, and all at the age of 14. Its a good book. I've only been reading it a day, and I'm almost through with it. I know a few people who should read it for their own good. Todays quote is going to come from the book, which is actually the published diary of the girl, Annie, and is completely true. I think this quote is really important, and true on so many levels.

This weekend sucked. I babysat all day Saturday and was supposed to babysit tonight, hung around with them all day, and then just ended up going home. Its ok though, it was a nice day all the same. The reason for the title is I had to display this somewhere. Chris just i/m'd me with this, out of the blue, no explanation, nothing, and its so funny, and so typically him! I changed it from his s/n to Chris because I don't want him being harassed online or anything.
Chris(12:12:16 AM): hammered
starfire1469 (12:12:20 AM): lol
starfire1469 (12:12:22 AM): heyyy
starfire1469 (12:12:49 AM): how u doin
Chris(12:12:53 AM): sooooooooooooooo drunkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Chris signed off at 12:13:07 AM.
I just thought that was so funny, I had to share. I love him, he's great. All of his great stories start with "I was drunk one night," and most of my best stories started with "Chris was drunk one night."

I know its been a long time since my last blog, but there's a reason for that. My internet has been really messed up since we got back from vacation. If it wasn't down completely, it was running slower that snail speed.
I haven't really done much since the last time, either. I went over to Shawn and Liz's last week and stayed there for like 5 days. On Saturday we went to Chris' party; that was great! Then we went to the Hartland Carnival. The carnival was really lame. There was nothing and no one there. I didn't even get any fried dough! But, Liz's Aunt Laurie got the last piece and gave me like half of it. I like her, she's really nice. The Winsted Carnival is next Wed-Sat. I hope Lindsey and I will go together. I get worried that I'm not on Lindsey's priority list anymore, because she never calls and I don't get to see her. Then there's days when we'll talk till 1 in the morning online, and its as good, if not better than a phone call. I just wish I weren't so worried about it. I know Lindsey, and I know that she will always be my best friend.