What a hectic week. There's been really nothing of great importance going on, really. On Tuesday we went on a field trip to the College Fair. Lindsey, Tanya, Luc, and I all agree that we'd like to go to either Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa, or to George Mason in Fairfax, Va, right outside of Washington D.C. Both schools seem really hard to get in to, and they are quite expensive. I'm actually thinking of like UALR, which is the University of Arkansas in Little Rock. Michael goes there, and it's only (a little more than) $2,000 a year. That's nothing. I paid more for my trip to Italy.
Speaking of Italy; it's only 3 weeks away!! I got my passport in the mail yesterday, and the photo didn't even come out too bad. When I got it, I was really excited. It's like it's starting to become a reality. Mom put $250 in to the bank for me, she bought out her earned leave from work, and put it in the account for my spending money. Unfortunately, I just got an email requesting more money for the trip, $180, for the absolute final payment of airport taxes, buses, gratuities, etc... So, looks like that'll be taken out of the account. I need to talk to Grandma and see if she can do anything for me, but I haven't been down in Bristol in a while, so I don't know how that'll work out. What really sucks right now is the fact that I'm sick with a sinus infection, still, going on the fourth month now! In 2 weeks, we have the play. How the hell am I supposed to project my voice to the back of the auditorium if I can't even talk loud enough to hear myself? Not only that, but I certainly don't want to be sick in Italy. We didn't dish out $2,500 just so I could spend the trip in a hotel bed. I think, maybe next week sometime, I'm going to go to a health center. Screw my doctor, she hasn't done crap for me.
Michael was telling me that they're about to get nailed with a nasty thunderstorm, and I am completely envious. We haven't gotten a thunderstorm in so long; I miss them like crazy. So, thinking about the storm, I got all creative, and wrote a poem. Here goes;



I tried to make it a happy poem, I really did, but I don't think it's artistically possible for a poem of mine to come out happy.
I've got so many things I need to get done. First off, I need to finish reading "Slaughter-House Five" for Monday, and I still haven't done Wednesday's homework; we had a snow day on Thursday. My room is a disaster area, too. I really wish I had the energy to get more done.
Bethany's coming over tonight, so it's inevitable that my room's going to get even more trashed. I think I aught to clean it now, so that there're less things she can get in to. Man, I love seeing Bethany. Last weekend, Lindsey and I went over to Shawn's apartment for the weekend. It was so nice to spend the weekend with everyone. I loved every second of it. I miss Bethany more and more now, especially since she just gets cuter and smarter every day.
Well, I suppose I should get off my rear-end some time today. Until later, adieu.

I had a field trip today to Hyde Park, New York. It wasn't, overall, a bad trip, but it wasn't all that stimulating, either. It took about 2 hours to get their, and we only visited 2 places. First we went to the Franklin D. Roosevelt museum/visitor's center, then to his house. We then visited the "Ever Ready Diner" which is supposed to be styled after the 1950's, without the authentic prices. Our waitress was terrible! She walked away from us 3 times in the middle of ordering, took forever to do everything, put her hands in Tanya's food.. etc. I left a quarter for gratuity, and she bitched at Mr.Barone about it, and he basically said she deserved it.
After the "Never Ready" experience, we went to the Vanderbilt mansion. I was in complete heaven there! Everything was styled after French architecture and design. Everything was too beautiful to describe. I really loved it!
Here are some of the rooms;
This room is Mrs.Vanderbilt's, styled after a French Princess's. The only thing which was different was the head board of the bed, which was gold, not bright yellow. The next picture was the sitting area with the Golden Steinway piano.





So we finally get home around 5, and I have a meeting for Italy at 6. I just got home from it at 8, and I am extremely tired. I really want to go to bed right now, but I can't, because I have to do precalc and Latin homework as to NOT fail. I will be in bed soon, though... I hope. Sleep.. what is sleep? I don't really know anymore..

This weekend was really awesome! Friday night, Emily D, Lindsey and I went to the Battle of the Bands at the Torrington Armory. Everyone was there! I ran in to an old friend, Jay, who Shawn graduated with. Here's the irony; Emily and I both went out with this kid Jon Soble, years apart, and we didn't know until Friday when we ran in to Jay and found out we both knew Jay. Jay went out with Jon's sister. And guess who was there? Jon! We almost died! The whole situation was way too ironic for my tastes.
So, we saw Jesse's band, No Angel, play. I'm not really in to the metal with the screaming vocals, but I must admit, I got in to it! They rocked out so hard, and everyone was moshing and just really gettin in to it. I've still got this ringing in my ears, and Lindsey's got slight whiplash from headbanging!
So Saturday, yesterday, after Emily left I took a nap then went on over to Lindsey's. We, including Francis, watched Dickie Roberts Former Child Star, Blue Coller Comedy Tour Rides Again, Practical Magic, and this really awesome independent film, Level Land. We watched Blue Coller at Franny's house. I never really liked him before, in fact I hated him for a while, and Lindsey kept telling me that he's a sweetie when he's alone, and I had to experience it to believe it. It really is weird. When he's in school, he's annoying and stupid, but alone, he's nothing but a sweet heart! He's funny as hell, and he treats Lindsey (and me when I'm there) like gold. His parent's, who are so great too, actually raised him with common decency.
Today when I finally got home, I ate lunch which was composed of way too much dairy, then made a bigger mistake; I went to sleep. I just woke up an hour ago, and I feel so nausious. I feel really drained right now, and I NEED to study for precalculus. We have a test tomorrow. I finally got my make-up test back, and I got a 63. I'm actually really really happy about that because it went up from a 25!

I've kind of been having a lot of trouble with people at school lately. I need to stop listening to what people are saying about me, around me, and through me. It's just not worth it. I want to have a discussion with some people, and just let the whole think fall wherever it may. I'm sick of hearing a bunch of crap from different people. I also found out that one of my friends actually had a fight with someone else over me, which makes me so upset. I can't deal with that stress on top of all that's going on at home. It's not worth it for me. The other day, I stayed after school and had a discussion with Mr.Atkins for over an hour about all that crap, and he's just made me realize that it's not worth getting upset over, not at all. I have my friends, and I guess now I have my enemies, which is not something I'm used to saying. I guess we'll have to see where this all ends up.

I've been yelled at by Michael to update my blog. He's right, though, I haven't updated in a while.

What can I write about? Lately, I've been rather conflicted. I've been going through a lot of emotions. I can't really talk about any of the stress on here, though. I've been going through a lot with family, friends, and even people I barely even know. I can't even discuss my issues, because they're so private right now. I just know that I'm really confused, and I need to figure things out before I get too wrapped up in my emotions.

I have a distinct feeling that I am in love. I can't say who it is,, yet. But, I'm not sure. I really am not sure, and I don't know how to tell him that. I love him, that is for certain,, but in love? He wants us to be together, but realistically, I can't see it as happening. I'm just.. confused.

This weekend, I spent the night at Lindsey's on Saturday. It was so great hanging out with her again. I love her to death! She's like my sister. We went shopping at Kohls. I got 4 pairs of pants, a skirt, 2 pairs of shoes, a belt and a new pillow for $43. That totally kicked ass.

We just got a phone call, and I found something out. I can't stay to write about it. I've got to end this short.